"It must be hard living on one income." Part 2: the practical ideas

Our society today certainly doesn't encourage families to live within our means, much less only the income of our husbands. Instead, it is the accepted practice of Americans to send both parents into the workforce. Parents do not ever see in the media how to make things work happily on one salary, but instead are taught to expect that both parents will have to work and that if that's not enough, to just charge the rest on credit cards. I recently heard an incredibly thought-provoking statement on the radio recently. The gentleman was commenting about the present state of our economy and he said this, "Is it really that the state of our economy has affected our families, or is it that the state of our families has affected our economy?" The majority of people in our country live on credit....they expect it...they don't know how to live without it.....they know they can't pay for it.....yet, they slide the card again, and continue the slippery slope into debt. Now that things have really turned upside down with our country's economy, families are struggling like I've never seen before. I'm so thankful that my husband and I made the choices we did ahead of time, and followed the guidelines in the Bible, to protect us from much of the stress and fear that families are living with today. We don't use credit cards (anymore....which is another story for another time), and are working to get to the point where we can pay cash for everything we need. We did not do that at the beginning of our marriage, and have had to face severe consequences for our mistakes. We often wondered, "How do you do that? " I would like to just share with you a few practical things we have done in our journey towards "financial freedom". We certainly have not arrived and do indeed still carry a mortgage as well as some medical bills, but for most everything else, we have learned the freedom that comes from paying cash and making do. I also want to say that I am not an expert in the area of financial management, but do want to offer hope to those who have gotten into some financial struggles that it can get better if you purpose to learn how to do better. These are simply some of the things we have learned to make that happen:

• For one thing, we started our marriage that way.

I knew that I was going to eventually stay home to raise our children, and we didn't want to get used to paying our bills with two incomes. So we STARTED OUT with the mentality that we had to survive on just what my husband provided. I did, in fact, work for 9 months after we got married, but we used that little paycheck to purchase (invest in actually) my maternity wardrobe as I became pregnant with our first child during that time. We didn't get used to using that money for food, gas, bills, etc. so when it went away, it wasn't a big deal. I actually wished we had started saving that money, but we were not really great money managers at that point. Anyway, my point with all this is that you need to have that thought: that one person is earning the income you live on and if the other person brings in some cash flow, that money should not be used for actual living expenses.

• We don't have a lot of "fluff" going on here.

When you purpose to live on only one income, you learn to be CONTENT with what you have or what is available to you. Honestly, there is no money "in the bottom line" left over for new clothes, major home repairs, new car upgrades, or vacations. No pedicures, manicures, or massages here. No dry cleaning, salons, or tanning for us. I honestly cannot remember the last time we stepped foot in a mall. We RARELY eat out, and almost never with all the children, don't run to the doctor for every new sniffle and cough, and use hand-me-downs happily and extravagantly! When we added our 6th baby, we had to WAIT for several months before we found a used, 12-passenger van that we paid cash for so we wouldn't have a monthly car payment. We made the overcrowded 7-passenger minivan work for us, though through much prayer and affliction as the "slap-a-thons" would begin from the back seat. My husband drives our 1993, 2-door, Honda Accord that he purchased when we first married to and from work (which is thankfully only a 5-minute commute) with it's cracked windshield, dead A/C, broken off antennae, overheating engine, and dents. It isn't pretty, but it gets him there, and I'm so thankful it is paid off, and I don't have to drive him to and from work with his overnight shift times.
One idea that has been a terrific value for us arrives around Christmas time. Often our parents will ask for ideas for the children for Christmas. One year I remembered that our local zoo offers memberships that once paid for allow you unlimited visits for your family for free. So I now ask for these type of memberships, and we have field trips and fun birthday outings and plain 'ol boredom buster trips at NO COST. Plus, our zoo memebership includes getting into other local attractions at no cost too. So one day we may go to the zoo and another day the aquarium. Check around your area and see if the museums, zoos, amusement parks offer family memberships and suggest those as great family gift ideas!!

I often dream of being able to travel with my children throughout the United States to see all the places we teach them about. What better way to learn about our government than to see Washington D.C, and learn the history of our country, and actually see the places where everything happened? I want them to see the oceans, and mountains, and taste the variety of food that is in all the culturally rich areas of America. I want them to experience Fall in New England, Summer in the MidWest, Spring in other places in the south, and Winter in the north. I want to take them to Philadelphia, PA to meet their 93 year old Great-Grandmother whom they've never met, and to see where the Constitution of the United States was signed! But we just can't do that. So do I become bitter and resentful, and unbearable to live with? Absolutely not. We practice being thankful for what we DO have, and living contentedly in the place the Lord has put us. We, lucky for us, live in an area where there is SO much to do and see, and if you're really savvy, can find TONS to do for FREE!!! I'm hearing a lot about "STAYCATIONS" instead of spending huge amounts of money on travel, and that is exactly how we spend our summers!! We enjoy the great things available to us near HOME!!

• We pray daily for the Lord to meet our needs.

In the most well known prayer in scripture, The Lord's Prayer, Jesus gives us an example of how to pray. In it He models: "Our Father who art in Heaven.......Give us THIS DAY our daily bread." Matthew 6:11

Jesus clearly taught us that we need to throw our complete dependence on our Heavenly Father for our most basic needs, every DAY. He doesn't want us to worry about our needs for tomorrow, but wants us to ask Him for what we need for THAT DAY. In fact, in the last verse of the same chapter where we find Jesus' model prayer He says,

"Do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34 (NASB)

We prayed for several months with our children about our need for a van. And when we bought the van, we praised the Lord with our children for it. What better way for your children to see that God loves us, hears our prayers, and meets our true needs? I believe that when you run out and buy something that you need brand new, you often rob yourself of the opportunity to teach your children how God provides your needs. The Bible says,

"Do not be anxious then, saying, 'What shall we eat? or 'What shall we drink?' or 'With what shall we clothe ourselves?.......for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things."
Matthew 6: 31,32 (NASB)

The best part of that being that it's most often in ways you'd never imagine, so that it's clear to your children that it could have ONLY been the Lord doing that.

• We learned the necessity of getting out of, and staying out of, debt!

"The borrower is servant to the lender." Proverbs 22:7 (KJV)

In retrospect, I wish we had learned how to stay out of debt, and been disciplined to live that way when we first got married. If you happen to be struggling with this, I highly, HIGHLY recommend Dave Ramsey's book, The Total Money Makeover. It gives you a map, step-by-step guidelines, on how to get out of debt, and then how to stay out of debt. It's pictured on my bookshelf in the right-hand sidebar. I also recommend a program that I read about on the Crown Financial Ministries webpage called Mvelopes. It's truly amazing and helps you create your own budget and stick to it. My husband is all techy and stuff, and LOVED how you could watch your savings "envelope" grow right before your eyes!
When you find yourself in debt, you quickly realize how that debt becomes the all-consuming drive in your life. You get the bills month after month, and have to keep paying more and more money, and pretty soon it's like you're hand-cuffed. You don't have the freedom to use your money the way you'd like to because you have these debts to pay. Now I'm referring to the debt you yourself incurred such as credit card or consumer debt. I'm not referring to large amounts of debt incurred with a sudden illness. We've learned through some of Dave Ramsey's ideas how to work on building up an "emergency fund" for such cases and we are working on getting to such a point. But I'm referring to the bondage brought on by yourself because of just plain 'ol greed or mismanagement of what you have. We have been there too, and remember how desperate you can feel to get out of that position. Imagine if the people of our society today operated on a cash-only basis as they did many, many years ago!! There wouldn't be this mindset that we need big mama and papa government to "bail" us out and provide for what we need. That's not the purpose of government ANYWAY! What if everyone had a mindset of personal responsibility again, and set aside greed, or an unwillingness to work (dare I use the correct word here....laziness), or materialism (this insatiable hunger to have everything new under the sun),
and learned the joy of GIVING to others and providing for family members young and old, and working for your needs. Imagine people purposing NOT to live outside their means. Imagine how THAT would impact our economy. Our generation is staring in the face the consequences of living in and depending on debt.

• We've learned the commandment to tithe is for OUR benefit, not the Lord's.

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this," says the Lord of hosts, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven, and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows." Malachi 3:10 (NASB)

God doesn't need our money. He owns all things according to the Bible. The tithe is simply a reminder to us of our dependence on Him. It's simply a discipline that when cultivated into our lives teaches us that all we have physically, materially, and spiritually was given to us by Him anyway and we're simply giving back what He loaned us in the first place. It demonstrates a gratefulness to God. But the Bible also makes it clear, that when we acknowledge His command to tithe He will bless us. He will continue to meet our needs, and He sees our obedience. We can't outgive the Lord.

"Then I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it may not destroy the fruits of the ground; nor will your vine in the field cast its grapes," says the Lord of hosts.
Malachi 3:11 (NASB)

And, on the other hand, we know that since the Lord "requires" this, He will get that money back somehow. Sometimes we are "disciplined" in a financial way when we don't give our tithe back. We've even experienced that in our own lives.

"Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! But you say, 'How have we robbed Thee?' In tithes and offerings. You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing Me, the whole nation of you!" Malachi 3:8,9 (NASB)

Tithing is not a means for growing your prosperity, but when we stay current with the Lord, He blesses, He takes care of us, He honors our obedience, He supplies the needs.

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phillippians 4:19

• We've learned that buying used and shopping frugally is the only way to go!!

In another post I'm going to address some really fun ways to use coupons, and how to shop for groceries on "a budget." It will take me a bit of time to list out a couple different systems I've tried and found really helpful, and to talk about using coupons and what really is practical for the larger family. Again, I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I have stumbled onto a few ideas that have worked for us, and thought I'd share those.
But when it comes to buying used, we've found that is the BEST way to be a good steward of your money. Buying a new car is practically like throwing your money away. Now if you have money to burn......then go for it!! But most of us aren't really in that position, and if you've done any research on buying cars, then you'll remember that the minute you drive that new car off the lot, it depreciates in value by 20%!!!! The last two vehicles we purchased we found either on a local auction at ebay or on Craigslist. We found what we needed locally and saved THOUSANDS of dollars. We have a good mechanic in town to help us fix what we can't when necessary, and we try to take care of what the Lord provided for us.
When it comes to clothing, I've found children's consignment stores so hard to beat!! My favorites are Kid-to-Kid, and Once Upon a Child. You can find brand name clothes in nearly mint condition for pennies on the dollar!! I NEVER, ever pay full price for children's clothing, and can't justify doing so when they grow out of things so quickly!!

Have I told you about the joys of a good garage sale??? Garage sales are fantastic places for finding anything and everything!! I have found maternity clothes, living room furniture, lawn equipment, children's clothes, shoes, toys, DVD's, home decor, and kitchen gadgets at some better garage sales. Sometimes you find some great things, other times you don't. If you check on Craigslist before the weekend, you can make a list of the sales in your area that look like they might have something you need.

As I mentioned before, we LOVE hand-me-downs. I have saved nearly every article of decent clothing from my children to use for the next child. If I'm missing some necessary item, it usually shows up in a bag of goodies from someone's closet at our church or neighborhood. I'm particular about the quality and style of clothes our children wear (not snobby or picky, but I'm teaching them about dressing appropriately for the occasion and MODESTY) , but they have ALWAYS had tons of stuff every season!! We thank the Lord for that.
I also try to take care of the baby equipment we have and use it for the next baby. Our baby crib has had to have a few minor repairs down the line, but it's 11 years old, and still as pretty as when we bought it. We started with girls, then added a boy, and I didn't run out and buy a brand-new "boy" crib. I asked for boy bedding for our baby shower and we just resourcefully made it look like a boy!! No need to spend more money, when a little thoughtfulness and creativity will do.

At some point in time, I'm sure I will re-visit one or more of these different strategies to living on one income, and go into more detail. I hope some of these ideas will be helpful to you wherever you are on your financial journey, and encourage you that even if you stumble and make mistakes (as we have) that you CAN get up, brush off, start over, and do better!! Our Lord is in the business of restoration.