Couples Retreat 2019

There is no greater investment you can make than nurturing your marriage.
It has lifelong benefits.

We have found that in our culture of constant distractions and

heavy, heavy busyness,

it takes a good 24 hours of just the two of us together

to be able to relax and communicate with each other.
I have always thought that we communicate (talk!!) all the time

at home and better than most couples.
We have to just keep our lives afloat and to be sure we don't

miss something important to us or to one of our 5 children still at home!!
We have strategies and set times we look at the calendar together

to make sure we are still on the same page!!
But even with all the modern conveniences that help us with daily chores

and time management,
we still get distracted and sucked into our own world of responsibilities and hobbies.

When we have the opportunity to attend a retreat like this,

we try really hard to build it into our calendar priority!!
We didn't get to go last year,

so we felt it was of the utmost importance that we go this year.

We were not disappointed, and were so blessed!
The peacefulness of our surroundings, the relaxed schedule,

the fantastically encouraging speaker and his wife, and the

great food and fun allowed us the perfect weekend getaway!!

I talked my hubby into playing the "Newlywed Game"

 and we won the whole thing!!
Our prize?
Getting to use this fun ATV golf-cart to zip around the campgrounds!!

It's always a delight to meet the offspring of couples who

asked me to coordinate their wedding!!!
Sweet babies!!!

My favorite traveling buddy!!!

A Spring Retreat for Couples

This time of year simply swells with busyness.

New life bursting forth means cleaning out closets,

preparing for church drama productions, school field trips, 

spring cleaning, fresh energizing decorating,

spring break plans, and birthdays!!!

Several years ago, my husband and I incorporated a tradition 

of attending the annual couples retreat

at Southland Christian Camp in Ringgold, LA.

We have never regretted intentionally carving out the time

to invest in our marriage with this annual weekend get-away.

We always enjoy the delightful fellowship with other couples from our church,

and it is a wonderful way to get to know these other couples better.
We have several friendships from our church

 that have deepened because of the time spent with them on the Couples Retreat!

The general preaching sessions are always uplifting and challenging,

while the split session for men and women

is designed to speak to our hearts in our specific roles within marriage.

For dinner on the final evening, the camp staff work so hard to give

us a special candlelight "date night" complete with a delicious 3-course meal

followed by an amazing dessert, coffee, and time to spare!!

What a treat!!!

"Never marry the person you can live with.
Marry the one you can't live without."

Intentionality: Making time for some fun in your marriage

Several years ago, my husband and I wanted something fun to do together

away from our daily routine and without children.

With six homeschooled children, that seemed like an impossible task.

But we decided to try something we had never done before,

and that was to pack up for 3 days and head over to a neighboring

state and attend the couples retreat at our favorite Christian Camp.

We felt like we were going on a bit of an adventure that first time

because we really had no idea what to expect.

You can peek into that trip and all the subsequent trips here.

After that first initial adventure, we were hooked!
We have tried to go every year since, and now we're taking other couples with us!!

The journey itself to the camp has become an adventure!!
Making fun stops along the way adds even more fun!!!

The quiet time together to just talk about inconsequential things as well as the 

important things is priceless.

Hanging out with friends and meeting new friends refreshes

our hearts and spirits!!

Time spent in God's Word together always challenges us in areas of our lives personally

as well as the tone of our family that needs attention.

This year's speaker was Morris Gleiser with his wife, Lynn.

Several of his challenges really spoke to my heart: 

"God's intention:  A holy, healthy, heavenly home"

"Our home should have such a heavenly atmosphere to it that the angels of God

would feel comfortable being there.  Not the other ones."
The Husband = Servant Leader

The Wife = Servant Completer (NOT complainer or competer!)

Team mates assisting one another!!"

"Our homes should be filled with an ambiance of grace!

We need grace words in our home "seasoned with salt. 

As you give grace to others you leave behind an "odor" of grace."

 Being silly together helps to break through the ice that can build up over time unknowingly

because of busy schedules, little time to talk, the needs of many children,

household tasks, and ministry responsibilities!

Make time to have fun....on purpose!!

The trip home had its own set of adventures enjoying some of God's

incredibly beautiful creations as well as lunch at a new place!!!

We try to get away alone on "date nights" as often as we can.

Sometimes those times seem few and far between because of work/sleep schedules,

family activities, illness, or lack of extra finances.

This retreat has become a concrete spot on our calendar because we've found that being

intentional about it is the only way it can happen.

It is always scheduled in the spring, just after our income tax refund hits the bank.

We look at this as a priceless investment in our marriage and we always use a little

of that money to fund this trip!

This year it seemed like several things happened that were going to derail 

our ability to go to the retreat.

The week prior there had been torential rain that flooded the area, washing away

roads and submerging the highways.

20 inches of rain in one week seemed like an impossible thing to recover from.

Just as it looked like the water would be receding, I started feeling yucky.

Like I hadn't in years.

Hot flashes of fever and sore throat.

When the waves of nausea and white stripes on my tonsils showed up,

I knew I needed to move quick.

Sure enough, it was strep throat.

3 days before we were to leave town.

On this occasion, I eagerly went to an urgent care clinic, got the diagnosis

and antibiotic, and stayed down for 2 days.

The Lord is good!!!

He answered prayer and removed all the obstacles and we were able to leave

right on schedule!!

What a blessing it was!!

We have never been disappointed and always come home refreshed, encouraged,

and looking forward to next year's retreat!

Refreshing our marriage: Couple's Retreat 2015

"You married her because you loved her.  But from tomorrow on, you must love her
because you married her......love is a choice."

~Elizabeth Elliot

If my husband and I have learned anything in our nearly 19 years of marriage, it's this:

you must be intentional about nurturing and investing in your marriage.

A great marriage doesn't just happen.

You don't always get along.

You don't always get to see each other everyday.

You sometimes have to make quick decisions apart from each other.

Life can become a tsunami of demands from children, bills, phone calls, responsibilities.

Another thing I've learned over the years is the more stressful your week, the less time 

you've had to talk, the less sweetness between you,

the longer it takes to make a connection when you do finally get time alone together.

It sometimes takes more than an hour at dinner alone to get the surface conversation out of the way

to really be in sync with each other again.

One way that we have loved combating all that is by purposing, at the beginning of the year,

to get away for a two-night couples retreat.

 We have found a lovely camp that is just 4 hours away from our home that hosts

a delightful retreat annually.

This spring was our 3rd couples retreat.

It is so peaceful and relaxing there.

The schedule is the perfect combination of planned, encouraging sessions

and free time to just be together and choose what activities you 

might like to participate in.

Want or need to just nap all afternoon?

Go right ahead!!!

Feeling particularly social and want to join in some games?

There are lots of friends to visit with!

The schedule begins with dinner on Thursday evening,
so once our children are settled in their places for the weekend, we head
out for the 4-hour drive.
We usually stop along the way for a sweet lunch somewhere and just enjoy
the conversation together the rest of the way there.

After we get checked into our room, we have a little time to visit with friends
from other churches we haven't seen in awhile.
After a fun dinner, there is usually one marriage strengthening session.
After that is over you can head back to your room to relax together,
or you can get together with friends and play games or get some snacks and coffee.

Friday includes several more teaching sessions, fun group games,
and an afternoon of free time.
On Friday evening, the staff usually comes together and puts on a really lovely
private candlelit "date night."
It is designed to last for one full hour with several courses
and allows you time to just talk quietly and enjoy each other.

After the evening session on Friday, they set out more snacks and board games and open up

an area for game night.

Saturday morning begins with a session and brunch is served immediately after that.

Then it's time to pack up and head home.

We love this so much that we start planning it all out right at the beginning of the year.

Once we have the dates nailed down, we pair up the children with a sibling they get along with, 

and start farming them out to close friends.

We also get Grandma on board to help with transportation and food preparation and

supervising household care.

We've also agreed to devote part of our income tax return money to pay for this

much needed investment.

We look at it as an investment in a happy retirement!! 

Intentionally making time for your marriage

I'm such a slow learner.
My husband and I have been married for nearly 17 years, and it was only recently (last 5 years or so) that it clicked with me that to keep your marriage awesome, you have to nurture it.

Intentionally.

An amazing marriage doesn't just "happen."
Just because you got along great while you were dating/courting and the first years of your marriage were seamless and without conflict does not automatically mean that you'll be able to move through the years without a gap beginning to widen between the two of you.
A marriage is a living relationship and if not tended to WILL die.
Or become hollow and unfulfilling.....lonely.
You personally keep growing....in whatever direction.
And so does your spouse.
But you won't grow deeper and closer together if you never spend time together.
You'll just grow apart.
I've heard too many stories of couples who work tirelessly in ministry, their careers, raising several children.
And when it's just the two of them left in the house.....they are practically strangers.
They don't know what to talk about anymore and would rather not talk to each other.
My husband and I are determined not to let that happen.
It can be challenging at times, but we try very hard to jump on every opportunity we have to make time for just the two of us!
Last year, we could not make the couples retreat we attended two years ago.
So when we got word that this year's retreat was going to be on Valentine's weekend, we made it a priority to go.
My husband requested time off of work at the beginning of the year, and I made arrangements for the child care.
We had to be creative financially, but we felt it is an investment!
It was hard work to get everything organized.
But so what?
The pay-off was so worth it!

The camp staff where the retreat was held did such a great job of making our meals and accomodations

as lovely as possible.

I thought this was a fun twist on a drinking glass at our first evening meal.

One afternoon, we had hours of free time, so we climbed into the car and took off

on a little day trip to Natchitoches, LA.

Some of you may remember that this is the quaint little river town that the movie

"Steel Magnolias" was filmed in.

"Shelby's house" before she got married.

 This is the river front area where the final scene of the movie, during the Easter egg hunt,

was filmed.

We later learned that these beautiful trees flowering all over Natchitoches are called

"tulip magnolias."

We had such a fun afternoon just wandering around this little town,

and ended our evening with dinner out. 

I highly recommend any kind of getaway with your spouse.

Just the drive alone without kids is wonderful!

If your schedules have been hectic, and you haven't been able to really converse in a while,

it sometimes takes a couple of hours of simple surface conversation to reconnect on a deeper level.

Again, it takes time to nurture that relationship.

We particularly enjoy these casual retreats with a spiritual emphasis because there are sessions with a special speaker on topics important to a healthy marriage.

We always learn something new or are reminded to get back into healthy habits.

We always enjoy the fellowship with other couples we haven't seen since the last retreat!

How do you make time for your marriage?

Do you make it a point to get away together at least once a year?

Anniversary Get-Away!!

Would you like a peek at our 15th Anniversary Get-Away Weekend?

This year we decided to invest in our relationship and make extra special time for each other.

What do you do to strengthen your marriage and remove all the distractions of daily life for a time,

and just focus on encouraging each other and learning to do better?

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