Intentionally making time for your marriage

I'm such a slow learner.
My husband and I have been married for nearly 17 years, and it was only recently (last 5 years or so) that it clicked with me that to keep your marriage awesome, you have to nurture it.

Intentionally.

An amazing marriage doesn't just "happen."
Just because you got along great while you were dating/courting and the first years of your marriage were seamless and without conflict does not automatically mean that you'll be able to move through the years without a gap beginning to widen between the two of you.
A marriage is a living relationship and if not tended to WILL die.
Or become hollow and unfulfilling.....lonely.
You personally keep growing....in whatever direction.
And so does your spouse.
But you won't grow deeper and closer together if you never spend time together.
You'll just grow apart.
I've heard too many stories of couples who work tirelessly in ministry, their careers, raising several children.
And when it's just the two of them left in the house.....they are practically strangers.
They don't know what to talk about anymore and would rather not talk to each other.
My husband and I are determined not to let that happen.
It can be challenging at times, but we try very hard to jump on every opportunity we have to make time for just the two of us!
Last year, we could not make the couples retreat we attended two years ago.
So when we got word that this year's retreat was going to be on Valentine's weekend, we made it a priority to go.
My husband requested time off of work at the beginning of the year, and I made arrangements for the child care.
We had to be creative financially, but we felt it is an investment!
It was hard work to get everything organized.
But so what?
The pay-off was so worth it!

The camp staff where the retreat was held did such a great job of making our meals and accomodations

as lovely as possible.

I thought this was a fun twist on a drinking glass at our first evening meal.

One afternoon, we had hours of free time, so we climbed into the car and took off

on a little day trip to Natchitoches, LA.

Some of you may remember that this is the quaint little river town that the movie

"Steel Magnolias" was filmed in.

"Shelby's house" before she got married.

 This is the river front area where the final scene of the movie, during the Easter egg hunt,

was filmed.

We later learned that these beautiful trees flowering all over Natchitoches are called

"tulip magnolias."

We had such a fun afternoon just wandering around this little town,

and ended our evening with dinner out. 

I highly recommend any kind of getaway with your spouse.

Just the drive alone without kids is wonderful!

If your schedules have been hectic, and you haven't been able to really converse in a while,

it sometimes takes a couple of hours of simple surface conversation to reconnect on a deeper level.

Again, it takes time to nurture that relationship.

We particularly enjoy these casual retreats with a spiritual emphasis because there are sessions with a special speaker on topics important to a healthy marriage.

We always learn something new or are reminded to get back into healthy habits.

We always enjoy the fellowship with other couples we haven't seen since the last retreat!

How do you make time for your marriage?

Do you make it a point to get away together at least once a year?

Been busy......

Oh man.....
I've fallen behind again.
Here it is the middle of March, and I totally have lost track of time here on this little space.
In some ways, many things have happened.
In other ways, I would have to say that things have been rather routine....which often puts me in a stalemate.
Is that the right word?
I get so caught up in the hum-drum of everyday life that I lose my motivation to do much of anything besides what is absolutely necessary to sustain life.
Just after my last post here, on the 11th of February, my husband and I were able to get away on a lovely couples retreat for Valentine's Weekend.
Haven't gotten that posted here yet.
I've scheduled myself for a little minor surgery in April to repair what I like to call "my sports injury."
My sport you ask?  Pregnancy and motherhood
My injury?  An inguinal hernia
More on that later.

Homeschooling has gone pretty well overall this year.
I need to post about my son who struggles with ADHD and attention difficulties and processing difficulties, and some amazing things God has done in his life and mine this year.
I need to update about my Type 1 Diabetic daughter who has been stressing me out with her lack of working together with us to keep her healthy.
Spring is creeping in quietly and beautifully and we are celebrating around here!
New recipes, crafts, spring decor, flower planting and more.
Finally, I want to share about the amazing experiences God has given me through the privilege of volunteering at a local women's homeless shelter over the last several months!
So much going on and so little time left over to journal it.
More coming this week......

4-year anniversary

Here we are again.
The day that marks the anniversary of a day that changed our lives forever.
The day our second daughter, not quite 9 years old, was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

Somebody said to me recently, "Has it been that long already?"
Absolutely.  And then some.
Or so it seems to me.

I've worried much over this last year that has seemed crazy-out-of-control in regards to her blood sugars.
Worry makes the days just drag along.
I had made the mistake of thinking that at nearly 13 years old, she would take responsibility for her health, and would actually check her blood sugars before every meal, would actually correctly calculate how many carbs she was eating at each meal (versus "guesstimating"), and would medicate every time she put something in her mouth.
Not so.
She was only doing what she needed to stay alive.
As a result, her A1C has hung out at 9.9% for many months.
Stressful.

I think back to those midnights when she has been sitting in front of the toilet with her stomach just burning with pain and nausea from a mixture of a stomach virus and high ketones.

With tears pouring down her face, she whimpers "Why do I have to have diabetes?"

It was like we were handed a newborn again......only with no warning.

No preparations.

Nothing to care for this newborn.

Having to learn how to train ourselves to take things with us when we leave the house, scheduled meals, routine doctor visits, nightime feedings, mental exhaustion.

I think back to how far we've come from those early weeks of having to stick with a set amount of carbs for every. single. meal so we could learn how to wrap our brains around counting the carbs for each food she's eating and drawing up the insulin into a syringe {making sure we have all the supplies with us if we're away from home}and writing down each and every blood sugar number on a chart.

And here we are with insulin-to-carb ratios and a little more freedom with insulin pens.

But yet, we still have a long way to go.

Her numbers are still wacky.

Her A1c is not where it should be.

And that is constantly gnawing away in the back of my mind.

4 years ago we walked into our pediatrician's office not knowing why she had these horrible,

sporadic headaches that were relieved with one bout of vomiting.

I should have known for sure by just looking at how emaciated she was.....

but that had come on so quick we hadn't really noticed.

This picture was taken 3 weeks and 3 days from her diagnosis.

There were other obvious signs going on that did finally prompt me to get her in to the doctor, but if I had known at the time what a crisis her body was in I would've just rushed her to the ER.

But thankfully, our loving Heavenly Father had this all planned out.

He knew when she was born that this day was coming.

Would we change things if we had that option within our power?

I don't know that we would.

It is really hard some days.

But we know that we are being prepared for something right now.

We don't know what that is.....but it's an assignment.

A mission.

And right now, we're in boot camp.

We are so thankful for what we're learning about how to minister to those families who are in crises.

Maybe at a deeper level than others who've never had a medically fragile child.

Or maybe we'll meet some more folks along the way who, like us,

have a child with Type 1 Diabetes that we can be a blessing to and vice versa!

The journey has been difficult....I'll not lie.

But it is made sweeter because we must be on our knees...every day in conversation with our Lord.

Our eyes ever on Him, lest we like Peter who was walking on water toward Jesus, lose our focus and begin to sink in fright because of the storm swirling around us.

Ashlyn celebrating her youngest sister's 5th birthday with her and a friend
just a few weeks ago.

Getting your children to actually eat their fruits and veggies

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right.

I know.

Blah, blah, blah.

But have you ever tried to get a child, who is "addicted" to the processed food already,

or who struggles with sensory disorders, or ADHD, or Autism, or......

to actually eat fruit and vegetables??

I had to start by not buying processed food....at all.

Because what happens in my house is this:

I buy all these whole food items,

and they scrounge through the pantry when they get hungry.

They don't reach for a banana or apple,

they make their own peanut butter and jelly sandwich

or pour a bowl of cereal.

So yeah.....I hide the two boxes of Rice Chex or Whole-Grain Flakes

for those days I have to have something quick I know they will put in their stomachs.

One thing that I am convinced draws children to processed foods (in addition to the sugar and fat)

is the colorful, fun packaging.

I believe that we, as moms, have to be creative when it comes to food preparation 

and how we present the food to our family.

Who says being a stay-at-home-mom is boring and suppresses our creativity or artistic ability?

I have found that taking the time to set the table pretty, with candles,

brings them all to the table more willingly than when I just hand them a bowl of food

and point them to a cluttered table to sit at.

I've found the same when it comes to serving fruits and veggies.

My children are much more willing to eat raw produce than slimy cooked produce.

So I try to make it look more fun!

Who doesn't want to try some of this:

or THIS

or this:

I'm not saying that you have to be a talented fruit sculptor to get your kids to eat right.

But I am saying that taking a few extra minutes to make the food look pretty

will spark the interest of you child and they will be more likely to try something that looks interesting to them.  Especially if they get to help.

Is that a no-fail guarantee?

No.

I have to fight the processed food addictions in my house every. single. day.

I am seeing progress though.

My children are eating much more fruit than they ever did before.

They still choose homemade cookies over apple slices; but, when I don't make the cookies

and just offer fruit, they are actually eating it.

I'm throwing much less rotten fruit away these days.

The first endocrinologist visit of the year.....and participating in a research study.

I have such mixed feelings about our quarterly visits with Ashlyn's Pediatric Endocrinologist right now.
Her A1C has been very high for the last year.
She is still right at 9.8%.
It needs to be at 7%.
We always hear how the endocrinology clinic at Children's Hospital in Dallas has 1700 patients they treat with 250 new patients each year.
That makes me feel like they are extraordinarily busy, understaffed, and if we didn't show up,
their feelings wouldn't be hurt.
I've resigned myself to the fact that Ashlyn, even at 12.5 years old, is too immature and irresponsible to track her blood sugars throughout the day, so her numbers and ultimately her health is left up to me to manage.
Clearly, we have much more work to do with her on this whole "being responsible" thing.
Most days it feels very lonely and overwhelming when we have no one in our daily lives who understand what this entails on a daily basis and very little family nearby to help support us in this fight.
So, I often go into this with some dread.

But, on the other hand, I usually walk out encouraged.
Our endocrinologist is no nonsense, but witty.
He always listens to my concerns and gives encouragement to KEEP ON, full of grace, and never harsh or judgmental.
He did make Ashlyn look him in the face this last week though, and tell her that she needed to grow up and be more of a participant in this journey.

She has grown nearly an inch in the last 3 months.
He mentioned that being in the throes of puberty usually whacks out blood sugar numbers for a couple YEARS!
He also said that she has some insulin resistance going on as well which is why she takes way more insulin than other girls her age.
She currently takes 52 units (FIFTY-TWO!) of Lantus split between the evening and morning, plus her mealtime Humalog with ratios of 1:4 units for breakfast, 1:4 for lunch, and 1:3 for dinner.  For between meal snacks, we use the most recent mealtime ratio.
As long as we chart every. single. blood sugar reading, and write down every. single. carb she eats, and how much insulin we gave to cover those carbs, we manage to keep her numbers in acceptable ranges (80-150).
But the minute we miss a meal or a snack or a single morsel of food she pops in her mouth.....UUUUP spikes her numbers and throws that A1C off.

As we were preparing to wrap up our visit, our endocrinologist mentioned that another doctor would be popping in to talk with us.
We had never met this doctor before and she began telling us about a study she was conducting on the "impact of pet ownership on glycemic control in youth with Type 1 Diabetes."
Hello!!!
Bingo!!
This is the perfect thing for Ashlyn!!
Fortunately, we fit the criteria, and fortunately, she was chosen to receive a fish to care for.
She had to fill out a questionnaire about her diabetes and she was immediately reimbursed with a $5 Target gift card!
We walked out of the office with a small little tank, fish food and suppliess, and a $5 gift card to our local PetSmart store to buy a betta fish.

She was instructed to feed the fish both morning and evening and to use those times to also check her blood sugar.
Then, once a week she is to change out the water and also go over her blood sugar readings for the week at the same time.
We're to keep the fish for a year and Ashlyn's A1C will be tracked throughout the year at her quarterly visits with the endocrinologist.
I'm interested to see how this new responsibility will motivate Ashlyn to look for ways to better manage her diabetes.

Ashlyn and her new fish "Periwinkle"

Celebrating our first birthday of the year!

Someone is turning 5 years old today.....

Create a digital scrapbook

For the first Saturday of the new year....

"Just think,

You're here not by chance,

but by God's choosing.

His hand formed you

and made you

the person you are.

He compares you to no one else--

you are one of a kind.

You lack nothing

that His grace can't give you.

He has allowed you to be here

at this time in history

to fulfill His special purpose

for this generation."

~Roy Lessin

DaySpring Co-founder

"To every thing there is a season,

and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

Ecclesiastes 3:1