Life in my Shoes

Life in my Shoes

Friday, March 10, 2017

A teenager visits the endocrinologist's office


Ashlyn had her quarterly endocrinologist visit this week.
These are never "fun" for us.
We haven't gotten an A+ on our report card in years, so it always feels
like we are sitting in the principal's office in some kind of trouble.
Not a great feeling.
Things have changed since her first visits as a newly diagnosed Type 1 Diabetic.
She was just a new 9 year old.
She's 17 now.
Puberty was rough on her body.
We struggled with the motivation to stay on top on all the numbers
and calculations and carb counting.
That inevitably results in high blood sugars.
Every time.
"And be sure your sin will find you out." 

There's not a lot of room for grace with this disease.

Thankfully, our diabetes management team is understanding.
Encouraging.
Always trying to give new ideas and reviewing the same old things
we were trained to do to keep this thing in check.



We always come home with stacks of "handouts" full of numbers and readings
that we learned how to read in our crash course over 8 years ago.
I should have been a nurse.



Her A1C was better than our last visit in December, but it was in no way "good."
It's "good" that it was down, but her trends were not nearly tight enough.
We have to keep working.
More finger pricks.
More needles.
More carb counting.
More exercise.
There will never be an end to it.
Our insurance requires a $2000 deductible EVERY YEAR before it will cover
every single device that would make her management easier.
We will never be able to afford a pump or a continuous glucose monitor. 
We've tried calling dozens of people for help with that, 
and we fit in every loop hole.
A person can only take so many "no's" before you quit trying and accept reality.
We know God has a plan.....a purpose.
She never complains, but I know she hasn't a lot of motivation at this point 
to do everything perfect every day.
Why?
This will always be here.
She has done thousands of finger pricks and taken thousands of shots of insulin,
and she will have to it all over again tomorrow and forever.
And yet the numbers aren't where they need to be.
Ashlyn is a trooper though.
She is wanting to do better.
It's just an uphill battle.
Everyday.

Pray for us.


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