Monday, August 2, 2010

How To Be a Daddy To Your Daughter 101
"And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, 
and the heart of the children to their fathers...."
Malachi 4:6

I'm not convinced that most of the men I know who are fathers to daughters
really, REALLY know how important they are in the life of that daughter.
It's pretty well-known and highly documented the incredible impact a father's relationship with 
his daughter has on that daughter's life in so many different areas of her life.

Take these thoughts for instance:

Stats About Daddy's Girl

  • Girls with a father figure have higher self-esteem, and are more likely to get along with people and attend higher education.

  • Girls with fathers who are actively involved in their life show higher English and math skills, as well as having a higher IQ.

  • Girls with active dads tend to be more determined, more successful in school, more self-nurturing, more independent, and are less likely to have abusive relationships.

  • Dad's that are loving tend to have daughters that are less likely to try drugs, and less likely to be truant or delinquent.

  • When a father support his daughter playing sports, he is helping her lesson the pressures of sex roles, and helping to promote her social independence. 
Dad's Are Important Too
It has been said for far to long that dad's "take a backseat" to moms in the relationships with their daughters.  If this is true, then daughter's are suffering because of it.  
Father's often focus more time on their relationship with their sons because they may believe that mom will take care of their daughter's needs.  Sometimes dad's don't realize how important they are to their growing young ladies, and if they did, it may shock them.
Father's are very important role models for their daughters, especially in the puberty and teen years. A father is the first male that a girl comes to intimately know, and he can set the stage for how his daughter interacts in future relationships, especially with men.
If her father is a loving, supportive, encouraging, protective, honorable husband and father, his daughter will seek out relationships that mimic these positive qualities in other men.  Father's have this unique ability to inspire their daughter's, and daughter's give their father power like no other male in their life. 

You can read more of the above statements here.

About a year or so ago, my husband took our oldest daughter out for a "date" night.
They had so much fun!
They went to eat at the restaurant of her choice and then he took her where she would want to shop.
He let her pick the store.
Instead of rolling his eyes and continuing to look at his watch, he was helping her pick out
some clothes that would be appropriate as well as adorable.
When they came home, Lexi was just an excited chatterbox about all the fun they had had.
Ashlyn, then of course, wanted to know when it would be her turn.
I think he unwittingly started a tradition.
I'm sure he wishes he could do this more often with each of the children, but time and finances
prevent this.
So, he is working his way down the line and each child is looking forward to some extra,
"daddy and me" time.

This past Saturday was finally the day he planned to do something with Ashlyn.
She was talking about it ALL day.
She was ready to go the minute he walked in the door from his 12-hour shift at work.
Out to dinner they went.
Out to the girly-girl store they went.
He didn't disappoint.
Look at the outfit he helped her pick (in the correct size for her),
complete with (matching) shoes, and a necklace!!

What great memories for a daughter to have.

These are the kind of things that fathers can do with their daughters.

** You'll have to MAKE the time.
It won't happen until you deliberately pencil it into your calendar.
**You'll need to be aware of the things SHE likes.
It's more special if you know her and what's important to her, and not just to you!!
**It doesn't have to cost a lot of money.
(We can only afford something like this once in a while, but you don't even have to spend any money.
It's the time and details that matter.)
**Pay attention to her while you're with her.
Don't share your time with the cell phone, IPhone games, or something else.
Look at her and listen and learn to enjoy what SHE likes.

Here are some great benefits to the above suggestions:

Benefits of the Father/Daughter Connection
Father's can help daughter's build self-reliance and self-confidence by letting her know she is special and can achieve anything she wants to.  Daughter's who have actively engaged fathers are also less likely to experience depression, become a teen mom, develop body image problems, use drugs/alcohol, or engage in criminal activity.  
Father's teach their daughter's adventurism and achievement, assertiveness and self-worth.  The way a father relates to his daughter will determine how she will relate to herself and others, and what type of a family she will create in her future. Father's also teach their daughter's leadership, humility, and courage.
(Taken from here.)

Most importantly we find in the holy Word of God this command (as opposed to "suggestion):

"And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all they soul, 
and with all thy might.
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children,
and shalt talk of them when thou walkest by the way,
and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up...."
Deuteronomy 6: 5-7

So, I humbly submit this question:
How can we do this (teach our daughters how to love God as the above scripture tells us to do)
if we don't spend time with them and let them see God's power and working in our own lives?
How can a daughter learn of the love and interest of her Heavenly Father better than when
her earthly father takes an interest in her?

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